Sweet Belle and the Confederate
by Lady of Spring Rain
Summary: Jasper goes through a tough time with Alice while Bella endures her own struggles. They find some solace in eachother.


**Here is my newest piece...a bit dark but I think it works...**

**Anyway Read and review!**

* * *

None of us had any intention of this happening, such an awful way too. After the transformation I was drawn to her, following her as a puppy follows its new master. I was not sure how anyone felt about it; I was not reading the others emotions. I spoke of her often to Alice to the point where I could feel the frustration rolling off her.

Bella was just so happy. Maybe it was borderline obsession. Either way I couldn't stay away. The gaiety faded as the challenges of raising little Renesmee arose. Bella and Edward found that Bella was not old enough to raise such a difficult being and she turned to Alice for help. I wasn't sure what drew Alice to be malicious, though I oft suspect it was me, but she gave no information worth the breath she used. We left for our own life 'As a simple married couple' in the heat of it.

That was the first time I argued with Alice. For once we did not just melt together and make the same choice. I wanted to be with the family, with the people who changed my life…with Bella. But I knew my commitment still lay with her and I preserved. We left and moved to the shadow lands of forested Montana but that was but a temporary stop and we resided in Ireland not long after.

I started to regret my decision of leaving and wrote home, for the Cullens were my true home and family, and told them of my, our, new life. The letter I got back was a beautiful one of ugly words. Bella was furious at us for leaving her. What sort of friend, she asked, would leave when they were needed most? Who would abandon his sister when she needed him?

She told us of the new girl they found. A meek redhead of the influenza era named Scarlett. She confided that she did not trust the new girl nor Edward any longer. She told me that Edward seemed to dote on the girl beyond reason. Even Renesmee noticed, and I saw where her fingers had pressed against the page, hairline creases decorated the creamy paper.

"Alice!" I called, clutching the letter in my left hand, my right shoved down my pocket. I suspected that what was happening in our true home was much worse then what Bella wrote.

"What Jasper?" She asked. She never called me Jazz anymore, not since we left. I knew it was because we were no longer what we used to be. We were not locked in a love that bound our every decision.

"We need to go home." I said it with such power that she did not grow furious. She only looked confused.

"Home? Jasper. We are home." I was repulsed by her words. No, we were not home!

"No Alice. Back to the Cullens." My voice was barely above a whisper but she heard the words as if I shouted. She shook her head and shut her eyes.

"No, no, no Jasper…no." She turned and I didn't move. She felt my eyes burning against her back and she turned around.

"Jasper…we can't go home." She said. "I'll lose you." I wasn't sure what she was talking about but I shook my head.

"No you won't. Bella needs us. The family needs us." I reply, not completely sure of my words. I think she would have cried if she could but we vampires are truly emotionless beings.

"Yes." She replied, stepping towards me. "You are not mine any longer Jasper." She said. "I can't go back…when we do…" She collapsed and wrapped her arms around her body.

This was no vision, this was memories. I kneeled before her.

"Alice." I say. "I do not know your visions. You have not told me." In stress I tend to slip into formal speech, my habitual, natural habit. "But I am yours for as long as I am." I nearly faltered. 'as long as I am' I had said. What had I meant by that?

"And." She said against my chest. "You have not been mine since Bella changed." She whispered. "I always knew."

"Knew what?" I was baffled, confused, lost. What was she talking about? Was it not her I curled up with every night? Was it not her who I said 'I love you' to as the sun would rise against our molded bodies?

"I always knew that you would leave me." She had stopped her tearless sobs and for that I was grateful. When in a corner of my mind I thanked the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost I knew I was back to my Confederate days. I was a church going Catholic then.

"No, Alice." I say, breath escaping my lips.

"You were hers." She murmured. "You were always hers. I love you Jasper. I do not want to give you up." Alice looked up at me then, her golden eyes round. I could not say a thing, it was as if pieces fell in place. Alice had been trying to change her visions but nothing she did made any difference. Self fulling prophecy would be the words that Bella and I would use much later as we coiled against eachother under a full moon.

That night we flew home and I refered to myself no longer as Jasper Hale but as Jasper Whitlock. And Alice referred to Bella as mine. I did not see what she saw but I knew that we were no longer for one another. The uncontrolled, boiling love I had felt had long since simmered to what I assumed was true love.

I discovered, sitting in the comfortable seat of first class airplanes, that it was simply me clutching for that I thought was true.

The house was emptied except for Bella sitting on the balcony when I returned. Alice left for hunting, or so she claimed. I was not sure what to say but Bella spoke first.

"They're having sex." She said. I looked around for Renesmee but did not see her.

"Who?" I asked, appearing from the darkest shadows. She didn't look at me and kept staring away.

"Scarlett and Edward." She said in drone of monotone pain.

"And Carlisle? Esme?" I asked of my parents, though I was older then Esme.

"They are gone, moved on to the next location. Rosalie and Emmett are on their honeymoon." She said, a flicker of pain dancing through her voice. "Renesmee is with Jacob."

I nod and think momentarily of Alice but do not mention her.

"I needed you." She whispered. I nodded.

"I know."

I sat with her in silence until Edward and Scarlett came back, both draped in layers of guilt…and guilty pleasure. Alice came home not long after, her eyes the glowing gold of a fresh kill. Jacob returned with Renesemee, they were exploring Seattle for the day, late at night. Of all of them the only one's words I trusted was Jacob.

Bella hugged Jacob and kissed his cheek, taking Renesmees hand from his.

"Thank you." She said looking down at her daughter then back at the wolf-man. Jacob smiled and bid his farewell, waving playfully at Renesmee.

Renesmee curled up to sleep when Bella announced she had to leave. Alice knew something awful was happening and followed. I weakly offered to keep my eye on Renesmee for her but I do not think my words mattered for much. Edward feigned joy at my return and sat across from me our comfortable living room. I did not fake the gaiety in return.

"You fucked her." I snap, noting the brief stench of sex that curled off him.

"Bella?" Edward said, his eyes narrowed in confusion. I shook my head and glared.

"No. Scarlett. You fucked her while hunting." Guilt swept Edward for a moments time but I caught it. And my darkening glare told Edward I had caught it.

"I…" He had no words. He knew better then to argue against me. I swore loudly.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I snarl at him. Edward feebly shakes his head. "You slept with your wifes friend!"

"I know." He said in the quietest of voices. I did not hesitate on my next action. I smashed my fist into his face, I heard the crunch and snapping of bones under the taunt pearly flesh. I had managed to break his nose. He staggered away, realizing the pain.

He did not fight back and accepted that he deserved such. I grunted he deserved more. I told him to leave her.

"Bella? She's my mate." He said and I belt out a harsh laugh.

"No." I say. "If she was your mate you would not have leapt so willingly into Scarlett's arms."

"I love Bella."

"You love the idea of Bella." I snap, fury edging my voice. For the first time in a long time I felt true, unbridled passion.

That was the night Edward told a numb Bella that he could no longer cheat on her. He needed to be free from the restraints of her. Bella nodded but she did not flee. She stayed, clutching Rensemee's hand like a life line. It was her only connection to reality.

Alice stayed with her often, begging her to come back. The only time Renesemee was ever let from the broken womans grip was when she was with Jacob. Those times became more and more plentiful as the younger started craving the freedom she one had.

Edward and Scarlett left one dark morning. I knew the reason was because Edward could no longer stand the girl staring blankly away while milling about doing pointless things, dusting the clean table, fluffing pillows never used.

It took two months for us to see glints of the old Bella to shine through her dim shell. She laughed again and joked about her ability to walk without tripping. It was a three months after that I confided to Alice that she was right.

She smiled and kissed my cheek. "I know Jasper. You were always hers."

Bella and I grew close as friends and then, in an impassioned moment we became one. We wed two months after that. Alice was right, I was hers. We laugh about that time now, those rocky years where we climbed and climbed, only to fall yet again.

I love her. I really do. The feeling is like nothing I ever felt for Alice. I realized I would do anything for Bella. The comical vegetarian life I had so much difficulty with became simple. When I craved human flesh I would think of sweet Bella. My sweet Bella. Every moment with her was heaven and every moment away I thought of her.

Edward and Scarlett came back after years. The whole family reunited and Bella, the pinprick of light in our dark world, laughed and told Edward that it must have all been for the better. Aren't we happier now? She had asked. We lived together, all of us, for years. When Eddie, the twenty five year old World War II vet appeared in Alice's life we welcomed yet another into our life. We were quite the family, a full ten of us moving from one location to the next. We maintained our life, moving from location to location, sometimes dividing and reuniting.

We were happy now. That what matters right?


End file.
